![]() ![]() It unfairly lays all the blame, shame and burden at a child’s feet, while focusing on the adult’s wants, not the child’s needs. It has become a one-size-fits-all, cookbook style of parenting asking almost nothing of the adult in terms of their own mental and emotional evolution and spiritual growth. Why? Because traditional discipline is easy…for the adult. These techniques also threaten to transform us into lazy, disconnected and unconscious parents. Our natural power to parent wanes before we’ve even realised how to use it and so, we may feel there is no option but to turn to heavy-handed authoritarian tactics to “make” our kids behave. And through this approach, a parent’s influence is lost. They make parenting about “winning” and “losing”. Traditional discipline techniques destroy connection. But, there is a difference between leading and dictating, between teaching and forcing, between connecting and coercing. It’s a terrifying thought, isn’t it?īecause our children need us to be their strong leaders. Pause and ponder that statement for a moment. The sacred nature of the parent-child bond lies in the fact that it is the strength of our connection that determines the level of influence we have over our children.Īnd without influence, as Gordon Neufeld says, we lose the power to parent. Afterall, you were a child once too – and you’ve most likely been conditioned to seek external validation, to look to others for approval, to believe that you are loved and accepted most when your behavior aligns with the expectations of others.īut the further you venture into this journey, the more you will realise that taking these judgments seriously is dangerous they make your love conditional, they’re rooted in childism and they stem from a lack of awareness of healthy child development while perpetuating a disrespectful social hierarchy.īecause, the reality is that those who believe that parenting is about doing to, rather than being with our children are missing the entire point of parenthood. They may tempt you to parent differently in public, to be seen as being in control, to not allow yourself to be manipulated by your child. Friends may judge your parenting “style” and think that you’re weak.Īs a new (or not so new) parent, these judgments can be hard to hear. Family members may suggest that you’re soft. Yet, by rejecting these traditional techniques, others may accuse you of being a passive parent. It is time to challenge the status quo of modern discipline that elevates obedience over learning. It is time to move on from short-sighted strategies that erode the parent-child connection from tactics that are designed to shape, mold and tame our kids. If we want to raise kind, compassionate and cooperative children, there is simply no place for traditional discipline techniques. ![]()
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